Denouement of a 17's

2011-11-07T11:30:00.001-08:00

2011-10-30T09:26:00.001-07:00

2009-11-17T11:43:00.000-08:00

Im backkkkkk from BKK!
Boring as it sounds, third time in 2 years. Ahsxz, guess im good as a tour guide now.
Still hating e dusty air and scorching sun. TALKING ABOUT THAT, i've like rashes on me now! ): Thanks to the ashxzzzzz, aint sure! Think its e dust T.T So how am i gna head out in patchy reds like this. Im close to disfigured now. Sheesh. Im samantha now, full of kao kuey, haahahahah :D

Bought plenty of stuffs, like PLENTY. Photos up next.
Still hesitating if i should sell my pre-loves cause its taking wayyyy much space in my closet now.ahsxzzzz.
Time check:3.46 .
Grabbing something to bite, and check out more dancemoves before i head to bed.
Nights you all ,whoever left doodling here :)

And a random side track:
Im washing my hands off guys. Boys are still boys. Lemme be alone , as an individual for now. Aint gna speak to anyone with dicks much for now, except Nicholas would rated me high and said i was pretty , and a good girl.HAHAHAHAH :D BROTHERS FOR LIFE YO.

All the best for your courtship aye.Under my guidance, you'd prolly wouldnt fail.Haha

2009-11-11T19:21:00.001-08:00

On a brighter note, (excluding all the despondence that overwhelmed me last night), i'm finally leaving.
Let's hope i'd be back, twice as happier! Lurve~

2009-11-11T10:32:00.000-08:00

On an exact 12more days , It'll mark the first year of your departure. To be direct, not back to your country , but away from me. Ditching me aside to pick up pieces from the shacks. Its been long , how're you ?

So long since i've written any poems about you , sang any duets with you , shed any tears , nor have my diaries consisted of you . But it was just tonight, the feeling and burden started to weigh down on my shoulders .So much that i was gasping for breath.

Look, so what if i'm changing all that you weren't pleased of to be perfect. So what?
I've changed my hair,my dresses i used to wear with you went down the trashbin, i even changed how i behaved, i studied harder,i did better, i'm good now.

Its been a fruitful year i guess . With the adornment and love i held onto , turned into loathe and hate within a day, and now, you're like an invisible bond. Like a transparent plaster,protects and cant be seen.

Its her birthday today, and i could see how euphoric you are to actually be with her tonight.
You loved her, like the way you would call out her name when i looked at you sleep soundly and i had to hold back my tears , like how you yearned to be right there for her,like how you would try so hard to suppress my gnawing of doubt, I loved her too.

But tonight,without a reason why, the momentum didnt catch the rhythm. As i lay there,still, and having an avalanche of thoughts,trying hard to think of anything worth remembering that you've done for me, i couldnt. It was either that you didnt not, or my memory was failing me.
But guess what,i remembered everything of yours so clearly, so how was it possible for me to extract that memory from my entire wellbeing?I would have lost my soul and willpower to take another step forward, to climb out of the endless pit.

I couldn't use any vernier callipers nor ruler to measure how much or how deeply you've once hurt me, but it did, left a huge scar on me, still flaming, and a part of me is still struggling to break free.

Now,on the verge of awakening, not wanting to get others into the dire plight.
I found no explanation to this drastic change in me,but not definately not out to hurt.

Happy Birthday Mickey, Happy forever, auto :D

Let's hope this is just one of the gloomy days that comes before the rainbow.
I've yet to have thoughts of you for quite some time, this was mere .... ah , epic.

Tomorrow,i'd be near to you.No, yet,far.

2009-11-11T07:56:00.000-08:00

And i felt, that this , is F.good.
Still,guys don't tend to mean what they spout. They say it now, they break it tomorrow.
Boys would still be boys :\ Idk ,maybe after a series of disappointments and lies, i gotta take a breather. Never liked being on speedy trains, prefers things to move real slow.

And i guess im really fickle. Carina's raging right now, reason's me being fickle.
I've no slightest idea why, i can never make up my mind, and be all set to finish something.

I've got myself into real deep soup right now, and there's no way for me to pull out from this situation. I dont want to hurt the innocent, especially when i know this is fxking gna leave a deep imprint in him. Ahxzzzzzz, hate being caught in sucky dilemma like this. Hate my ego, hate my pride. Wtf is wrong with me! )':

I didnt mean to, but i've no explanations to save myself from drownning.
Selfish, spells me. Im just... sorry.
Think i need a breather , really badly. I hope thing's get back to norm, when im back from vacation.
NORM, AS IN, NORMMMMMMM.

2009-11-11T02:12:00.000-08:00

This entire web is still majorly under construction. Nope,not that i've no time, but i cant really move my lazy asshole to sit still here,stare right into the screen and moderate.Ok, bummzzzz.

Anyway,in less then 24 hours time,i'd be awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.The last post was blogged one week ago, and now, i'd be leaving! Cant wait,despite me whining about how expected the trip would be. And what,its not like im going to meet K. So... The only thing thats gna change is additions to my already threathening to explode closet. Enticing .....MEH.

Beth,C,and sam's wanting to have dinner @ Kov later,but ...geez, its not like i live in th North side. But it'll be the last time i'd be seeing Bangla Beth since she's leaving when im in the midst of my vacation! ): Cant bear with her so muchhhhhhh ! Despite all e wishywashypushy bickerings and fights we had, i've got to be mushy a wee bit here. Prolly no one else would still eat macs with me again and again and again and again, hoping to win the f.monopoly game, and ... you know what beth! Our usual stuffs :D

So gna miss you like HELLUVA LOT. Do text me like how you did for carina ,and i'd blog bout chu , and you cry.Ok , i cant stop giggling now.

Alrightey, blogging kick's not back yet. Shall end abruptly here. I think maid's having my favourite dish sizzling out there, gotta run. ( HOW BOUT E GIRLS.) Oh f. Guess 2 meals wouldn't do much harm righttttttttt, ok , self convincing.

Bye! Keep wishing that the next post wouldnt be a week apart,and i'd prolly magically teleport back here.Oh right, like its true.

2009-11-05T13:40:00.000-08:00

Im done with GossipGirls marathon! Tackled 4 episodes today. And i think i'd just be tyical and rant about how gorgeous the artiste the show starres. Close to an illusionally kind of perfect!

Morever, im in an awkwardly bouyant mood cause ive gotten this real awesome high streets bottom today. And it was plain wondrous . I held back the urge to spurge for i'd be off the green island Singapore in say ...... on exact , a week's time!

And , if you think i've became barely contactable of recent days, deepest and sincere apologies. For i've been lazy to reply texts and my phonebill was a nightmare, thus , i dont make calls out oftenly right now. So if you looking for me frantically , kovan mac's gotta be the hunt. Cause i'd be there for .......... you know who.

Time check: 5.46. Time to hit e sacks.
I'd just enter my world of fantasy and yeans to transform into Blake lively, or Leighton meester right now.